Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Internal and External Worlds.

I was thinking today, that the most serene people I've met, are those whose external self reflects their internal self, accurately and honestly.

I've been in the position many times, of presenting a countenance of calm indifference, while inwardly seething. This is not detachment.

Saying nothing, while inside my head I'm reciting a litany of grievances and resentments against someone, is a good recipe for later unhappiness, either because they've taken me at my word when my word was anything but truthful, or because of frustration at my inability to speak up for myself.

I cannot blame the alcoholic for my own shortcomings in life - those are mine and mine alone, Casting about for a place to plunk down the burden of my feelings when my arms get tired, results in them being precariously balanced upon cliff edges of misunderstanding,

A fellow program member stated that she wished her alcoholic would "grow up" soon. I jokingly suggested that if she would only stop yanking and pulling at him, he might get the chance to move along on his own. She responded with a laugh, "But what if he goes in the wrong direction?"

Learning to let go is not easy for some of us, but it is possible.


  1. We may not have had the happiest childhoods, but many of us have certainly had very long ones!

  2. Yes, the childish self-centered behavior is a bit much at times. I don't want to be anyone's parent. Thanks for writing about this. Again, a lot of food for thought.