A Nudge From God.

I had a rough start in life - my childhood is better left undescribed. Suffice it to say, that when people speak of their childhood and adolescence as being "the best time of their life" I can not relate. I grew into adulthood with a ferocious sense of resentment and self-pity smoldering inside my calm exterior. I felt ripped off by life, and didn't believe in God. I was full of rage and hate.

This painful state of being continued until I came into Al-Anon. I will forever be grateful to the alcoholic who was the reason I went to my first meeting, and the reason I kept going to meetings.

In Al-Anon, I learned that my life is largely governed by my own attitude to it. I can have the same sort of experience on two different days, and depending upon my state of mind at the time, can feel angry, or, (much to be preferred) laugh at the absurdity of life.

I've noticed that the longer I'm in program, the less time is allowed to me to feel sorry for myself, before I will receive a nudge from God, complete with a pointed example of how others have it much worse off than I.

I had one of those first thing today. I had a rough night, and woke up feeling out-of-sorts and grumpy. This is today's nudge:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yo_24_qTNac

My nudges from God used to be gentle, back when I was a newcomer to Al-Anon; they used to take some time to work their way through my defenses and my wallowing. Nowadays, they are more like a good whack upside the head, because He's granted me so much, blessed me with so much, and I'm still complaining?

Do I choose to focus on the one small aspect of my life that is not to my liking, or do I choose to focus on all of the miracles with which God has showered me?

As I think - I am. My attitude colours my day, and my life. Only I can choose my attitude.