Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Arguing The Details.

I've had sponsees who are fixated on arguing the details, while completely missing the bigger picture. They will lock onto one small area or statement or idea, and chew it over mercilessly, looking for the inherent flaw which will allow them to dismiss our entire program.

Is this willingness, to approach each meeting as a challenge to our stubborn resistance? Is this keeping an open mind? The suggested closing to our meetings states:

"If you keep an open mind, you will find help."

I would venture to suggest that the opposite is also true: if we keep a closed mind, we won't get much out of Al-Anon. Before I try anything new, do I not have to take a leap of faith that I may be able to accomplish it? Do I not have to be able to picture myself playing the piano, driving a car, scuba-diving, whatever it is that I wish to learn?

In this same way we must be able to picture ourselves living a healthier, happier life. For most of us, that is extremely difficult, especially if we live with active alcoholism. For that, we need to take a leap of faith. Close our eyes, grab onto the hand of our sponsor, and shrieking with fear, leap off the cliff of our past with him or her, trusting that our Creator will catch us.

In my experience, once we have done that the first time - taken that leap of faith, and found ourselves safely caught in our Higher Power's warm, cradling hold - the realisation that we didn't fall mangled to the rocks beneath, is enough to propel us forward in growth to a degree we'd never have imagined, before we jumped.

Catch onto the hand of your sponsor, close your eyes, scream as loudly as you need to, but please, take that leap of faith - you will be astounded at the blessings you will find in Al-Anon.


  1. The thought in my mind as I read this blog is how grateful I am that God gave me the gift of hitting a bottom low enough that I became willing as only the dying can be to surrender.

    This desperation cracked my mind open and I was able to keep that mind open long enough to begin to recover.


  2. I love it. The leap of faith. At the time some of us take that leap, there's nothing more to lose and so much to be gained. Nice post.

  3. Picturing myself believing in my higher power...I need to do that, I need to just take the leap, thanks for the suggestion

  4. It is a leap of faith, but so, so worth it!

  5. So true. Trusting is something that I was willing to do. I trusted my sponsor, the God of my understanding, the program, and eventually myself. It has all helped.