Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Let It Begin With Me.

I was supremely self-absorbed when I came into Al-Anon - self-pitying, with a chip on my shoulder, and much resentment for my unmet needs. I was not a happy person. Even so, I wasn't in program for very long before another woman in my group began to call me to 'reason things out." Through doing this with her, I discovered a truth of 12-Step: we feel most satisfied and content when we are carrying this message to others. I would hang up the phone after having talked to her for almost an hour, with no mention of my own troubles, and I would feel uplifted and comforted, in some way I couldn't articulate.

I found this fascinating - all those hours of moaning and whinging I'd done in the past, had never given me relief the way a program call for someone else did.

I've come to believe this happens because my Higher Power is using me as a conduit for His will, and His wisdom. When I set aside my own opinions and attitudes, and open myself to another human being's need, God blasts through me like a high-pressure hose, scouring out all the grunge collected in the corners, and leaving me feeling clean, and at peace.

I love that feeling, and the only way to get it, is to Let It Begin With Me.

3 comments:

  1. Really good post. I'm finding similar things happening to me with my Al-Anon friends; it's one of the things I love about the program, the fellowship is priceless.

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  3. I like to be of service and enjoy sharing with my groups and my sponsees. I learn something from everyone I meet in the program.

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