We had a friend from another country visiting for the last couple of days, so I pretty much let it all go, and just spent time with him, enjoyed his company, knowing he'd only be with us a very short time.
Before Al-Anon, I wouldn't have been able to do this, I'd have felt compelled to stick to my routine, and if cleaning house had been on the roster, I'd have cleaned house. I was nuts.
I'm grateful to this program for having re-ordered my priorities for me. I'm grateful to have learned how to become a much less rigid, much freer sort of person than I was. I feel blessed to understand that people are truly all we really get in life, the rest is artificially induced by creating a desire through advertising.
Now that I am more my own person, I get to decide what matters for me, and I care less what others think of my decisions, or how they may judge me.
I'm much more accepting of who I am, and this leaves me less judgemental of other people; not feeling "less than," I don't have the need to try to pull anyone else down to the level I perceived myself to inhabit.
It was a wonderful visit, and I was sad to say goodbye to our friend, but after his truck pulled away, I felt gratitude mixed with my little bit of sadness. Gratitude that I have learned to value my friendships more than my facade - it didn't used to be that way.
Good point! It's so funny because I just heard a similar idea today; If we had $86,400 dollars in our account each day and we had to spend it that day or it would be gone, we'd probably all be quick to spend it and spend it all. But we have 86,400 seconds in a day and we're all so quick to throw those seconds away waiting for the work day to be done or for the day to just be over.
ReplyDeleteI have a sponsee who has such a rigid life. I've been trying to get him to move towards some spontaneity and joy. It is a difficult thing for him but I keep sharing my E,S, and H. Maybe he will decide one day to enjoy life.
ReplyDelete