Sunday, April 25, 2010

Reaching Out.

I hated the idea of calling anyone and telling them I was in need, when I was new to program. I had done it all by myself up until then, and I was going to continue doing it all by myself, until one day I heard someone at a meeting laughingly comment about this same thing, and realised I wasn't alone in that, either.

Breaking through the facade can be terrifying: feel shameful, to those of us who've lived with a false front as long as we can remember. But as the program reminds us, if we continue to do what we've always done, we'll get what we've always gotten.

So reach out - give another program member the chance to help by listening, and sharing their experience, strength, and hope - they may need the exercise as much as you do, and when you call, they gain as much, if not more, from the encounter as you do.


  1. I agree, it's hard to reach out. But when I do I am always soooo grateful that I did.

  2. And I'm certain you realize that, through this blog, you're able to reach out to so many in this Alanon community?! Thank you.

  3. I was the same way. My sponsor always ended our weekly calls with "call me if you need to." But I never did. Then when we'd talk during our regularly scheduled time and I'd be relating something that had happened that I thought I'd handled well only to learn I'd bungled, she'd say: "Why didn't you call me?"

    Why, indeed! I didn't think I needed help. I didn't want to bother her. And a million other reasons. These days, I reach out to her first and act second.

    Thanks for this post.

  4. I wonder at why more new sponsees don't reach out. I remember making those phone calls to the numbers that were given to me. I did it out of courtesy at the time, thinking that if they gave me the numbers, well I need to call. So I did and that showed me that it was okay to reach out. I learned to ask for help.