Yesterday, my neighbour arrived on my doorstep, with a jar of homemade jam, wanting to make an amend for her behavior last summer. She was very nervous, initially, as she most likely wasn't sure how I was going to respond. I felt such affection for her, as she stammered through her apology, and when she finished speaking, I thanked her very much, and asked if I could give her a hug? We had a nice warm hug, and then a great chat, standing on my front porch, laughing and playing with the dogs.
When I am able to maintain my own positive state of mind, regardless of the actions of other people, it is through working my program in one specific area - Principles Above Personalities. Before Al-Anon, I'd have held a grudge - with the wisdom I've gained in program, I let go of all of that sort of business as quickly as I am able, for my own sake. I no longer want to be poisoned by resentments and old angers. I want to live my life with as much positive energy as I can possibly muster. I want to be a force for love, forgiveness, warmth and acceptance, for myself, and for others.
When I practise Principles Above Personalities, I work through petty annoyances or irritations, and arrive at a place where I am able to see further than my own small circle of concern. I will not deny that there are still times when I have to ask my Higher Power for help to achieve this, because some people, (usually those with similar character issues to mine) are harder to let go of, than others.
When I practise these principles in all my affairs, I see what is possible with continuing effort on my part. This renews my committment, and demonstrates that with hard work, and the help of my Higher Power, I can achieve miracles of growth at which I'd have scoffed, when I was living my cynical depressed pre-Al-Anon life. I've become a believer. A happy believer. Just the sort of person who drove me crazy when I was in the depths of despair, because I thought they must be faking it, nobody could live in this world, and be that happy.
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