From Hope for Today, page 137:
"My Higher Power wants what's best for me. However, I need to want it, too."
Do I truly want what is best for me, or am I sunk in self-pity, and moping for that which has proven time and again to work against my spiritual growth?
Am I cooperating with God, cheerfully, and with a willing heart, or am I plodding along, head down, grudgingly agreeing that it might, just possibly, be a good idea if I do whatever He seems to be suggesting, but I'm sure it won't work out, and I hate having to do that, and it's so time-consuming, and I just know I'm going to feel discomfort and...
Am I open to a different way to view my world?
Am I able to hear constructive criticism from my sponsor, without leaping to defend my character defects?
My dictionary defines cooperation as:
"an act or instance of working or acting together for a common purpose or benefit"
For me, it needs to go a step further than just "working or acting together" with my Higher Power; I need to be working with a positive attitude. This isn't to say that I cannot learn even when I'm feeling sulky or self-absorbed, but when I am open to learning, open to "knowledge of His will for me," I can feel inbued with a joyfulness that is nowhere to be found, when I'm dragging my heels.
When I cooperate with God, I can feel my changed attitude aiding my recovery. Many years ago, long before I found Al-Anon, I had a friend who had a much more relaxed and open personality than I, and she used to say to me with a sigh, "Cheryl, you are way too tightly wrapped."
I wasn't sure what she meant by that at the time, and used to feel vaguely offended. Now, I think of that, and it makes me laugh.
Al-Anon, and my Higher Power, have taught me that I can be "loosely wrapped," and still be held together perfectly well.
Yes, I've known to be strung like a wire at times. I don't do that much anymore.
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