"You Can't Do That!"

One of my favourite AA speakers is a man with a great sense of humour, and a wonderful message. I was listening to one of his talks last night, and he was saying if you want to know whether what you are proposing is God's will, ask those in the program whom you trust: "I'm considering taking this action; do you think this is God's will for me?"

I decided to put this idea into practise,with regard to a major life change I'm considering. So far, those I've asked have replied with a resounding yes. It's a powerfully supportive feeling.

Yesterday, I received a negative response from a stranger, along the lines of "You can't do that, because of this, this, and this." Because I'd done my research, I knew she was mistaken on all three counts. It got me thinking, about all the people along the way who have told me what I can't do. I'm grateful for the character trait of determination, which has allowed me to push ahead, even when everyone around me has been giving me negative input.

I've arrived at middle age relatively unscathed, and can look back and see that if I'd listened to the naysayers, I'd never have done anything. I'd still be living in the same small town in which I was raised, because that was one of the first "You can't do that!" messages I heard; that I couldn't travel to see the country in which I'd been born, that I had to stay and follow the prescribed path laid out for me by others.

I've had an interesting and varied life; if I'd let the fears of other people keep me trapped, that wouldn't have been the case. I have one life to live; I want to live it fully. I want to explore, and I want to challenge myself.

When my husband decided to quit his job and go back to school at the age of 50, I was one of the few people urging him on. He was terrified, but he did it, and he sailed through his courses with honor marks, and a renewed confidence. When he graduated, he opened his own business, because that was his dream. I've seen the hugely positive changes that his courage has created, and I'm proud of him for it.

Don't let other people tell you what you can't do. Have the courage to change.