A good friend wrote to me this morning, "Relying on ourselves for happiness is the only chance we have of getting it."
So true. I am as happy as I choose to be. When I can let go of the desire to change another person, the desire to find the perfect thing to say which will be a catalyst for change, I am content.
When I decide I will take no person's inventory but my own, I am relaxed and grateful.
When I step back from harsh words, or acting out, and decide I will not let those make my life choices for me, but will instead detach, and find another way to go, I find serenity.
When I let go of thinking that I know the best way for another person to behave, I find calm.
So much of life comes down to this choice - happiness or misery, serenity or frustration? On hard days, when there is conflict, I may have to make this choice a hundred times, praying for guidance from my Higher Power, asking to have my character defects removed, that I may enjoy this hour, this one day with which I am blessed.
Today, I'm driving over to have lunch with my sponsor, in the town where we used to live. I'm looking forward to her lovely calm presence, and our shared laughter. Laughter, even the rueful kind, is a gift from my Higher Power. It's up to me, whether or not I choose to seek it out.
I just had that very conversation with my down-in-the-dumps 23 y.o. son. I hope he heard me but I know he will learn in his time, not mine. Good reminder for me today.
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I think that I understand that I don't have the answers to how another needs to behave. It takes a while but thankfully I do understand.
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