Researching Alcohlism.

From the ODAT, page 204:

"An Al-Anon member may devote a lot of time to reading scientific books on alcoholism because she images it will make her better able to cope with "the problem." Unless we intend to become professionsals in the field, nothing is to be gained by an in-depth study of the disease."

I was thinking about this today, because I've noticed that since I've begun to listen to AA speakers every day while exercising, I'm struck by the wide variety in their childhood experiences. Everything from rampant alcoholism in one or both parents, to
parents that are all any child could wish for.

This underscores that alcoholism is a disease. One cannot always point to a clear-cut reason for any one person to have fallen victim to its ravages. I did a lot of research before I came into program, reading all I could get my hands on, in an effort to understand. I believed if I just understood, I could find a solution, he'd stop drinking, and we'd live happily ever after.

When it began to sink in that none of that information helped arrest the course of the disease, I began to feel despair. It started in that one area of my life, and slowly encroached upon all other areas, until despair was all I could feel. I'd shut down so much of myself, trying to avoid being hurt, that I was running on habit and instinct. Days were something to "get through."

I don't ever want to reach that depth of misery again. I know that I can avoid going to that "cold and lonely place" if I am willing to work my program energetically. When I keep the focus upon myself and my character defects, and don't try to change anyone but myself, I achieve a closer contact with my Higher Power.

Information can be helpful, but it isn't a solution. God is a solution. God is the solution. I have only to ask for help, and it will be given to me: generously, abundantly, and, like a delicious spoonful of real whipped cream, with a dollop of hope on top.