Monday, August 31, 2009


Thanks to those who commented on yesterday's post - much appreciated.

My first sponsor used to joke, "Be careful with those little comments along the lines of "If only God would..." because sometimes he takes you at your word and does."

That's happened to me a few days ago, and it's been amazing. So much so, that for the first time in my life, I find myself with not much to say. This is a definite departure, because I've always been a talker. I've become far more comfortable in silence with my spouse, sponsees, etc, but have noticed that in some of my friendships, the other person seems to have expectations that I will entertain them, and this has felt more and more constricting.

Finding myself granted that for which I've always wished and prayed, I'm realising how in some instances I've used words as a shield to keep other people at a safe distance. All that talking can give the illusion of closeness, while in reality, inhibiting it.

It's strange, and new, and I love the feeling - and the fact that even after all my time in program, there are still such great vistas of possibility before me, if I continue to practise Al-Anon.

Tomorrow, I'm going to start on the Slogans.


  1. Great insight. The illusion of closeness. I know some people who perceive a constantly ringing phone gives an illusion of friendships.

  2. I love it when there can be comfortable silence between myself and another. Some people can't tolerate silence in a meeting, if no one speaks up quickly enough. I used to dislike those long pauses, but now when they occur, I just know God is speaking in the hearts of those in the room. And I wait in anticipation for what will come next.
    Love and prayers,

  3. I also don't mind silence and can go for long periods without speaking. It is comfortable to me. I can have my own thoughts. I feel okay with that. Glad that you are continuing. It is great service.