You Can't Force Patience.

I apologise to my readers for my rather hit-and-miss posting lately; anyone who has had a house up for sale knows to what unreasonable standard of cleanliness the property must be kept, so it's ready to view at a moment's notice. Try doing this with two dogs, during rainy season. Great fun. It triggers the compulsive side of my nature which I've worked so hard to overcome, and I have to have short sharp conversations with myself about "enough, already!"

Today, while washing the kitchen floor for the zillionth time this week, I was thinking about patience, and how the lack of it has been one of my most painful character defects. Most of us are an intriguing mix of patience and agitation. Engrossed in one of my hobbies, I have endless patience, for the minutest details.

My other mad love, gardening, is also not something one can rush - a garden grows in God's time. I'm merely making it a slightly easier for some plants, by removing the ones which would smother all others in their rampant embrace - weeds.

I once sat in an open AA meeting, back east, and listened to a speaker talk about who was in charge that day, the adult - who could reason things out, accept setbacks without complaint, manifest tolerance, acceptance, and love for others - or the baby - who wanted whatever it was right this minute, and would flail his arms, scream, and kick, in an effort to force his will upon those around him.

That image has stayed with me - I've seen the baby in others, and I've seen the baby in myself - demanding instant gratification, and making life miserable if we don't get it.

I have had it demonstrated to me time and again that my vision is limited - I can only see so far ahead of myself - I've only got the low-beams. My Higher Power has the high-beams. He sees the dangers which lurk just out of my frame of reference, and I need to have the patience and the trust to accept this. When I'm wanting, but not getting, I need to turn it over. I need to ask, and then go on with my life, without continually turning to look and see how He's coming along with that request of mine.