At the recommendation of my sponsor, today I called the local AA office to ask for an open AA meeting, to which I can go, for help with my relationships with my sisters, both of whom are still caught in active drinking, and with whom I am in weekly contact via email. I think I need an open AA meeting to give me more compassion for their personality quirks which are exacerbated by their alcohol abuse.
I spoke to a very nice lady volunteering at the office, and am meeting her this evening at 7:45. She offered to sit with me, so I wouldn't be walking in alone. AA people can be so incredibly kind.
I've realised, through this Fourth Step I've been doing with my sponsor that I still have some judgement about the alcoholism of my sisters, and I don't want to be thinking that way. I need to work on my acceptance of this, and let them live their lives, and be able to just love them. It will be interesting to see my attitude change, and I welcome the prospect of being able to completely let go of my ideas in this area.
Wanting someone else to change is exhausting whether they drink or not. Finding a way to live and let live is the only way to not be resentful. The song says " it's my life and I will do what I want" says it all.
ReplyDeletePeople make decisions about there own life that impacts us but we can decide to work with what we have or move on. I sometimes can't even change myself so how can I change someone else.
It helps me to take a break from obsessing over someone or a situation do something fun instead of making them or it the center of my universe.
They are screwed up and so are we but sadly what someone else does with their life is none of my business. They have to find their own way and if I stop focusing on them and start focusing on me then it takes the pressure off of us both.
thank you for your share. One of my brothers is a serious OXY addict.
ReplyDeleteI have watched his addiction worsen over 9 years, he is a shadow of a person he once was. Loving him where he is is difficult I want him to be someone and somewhere else than where he is.
Turning it over to HP and working the program.
Open AA meetings are great. I go to one at least once a month, and they have come to know who I am. I feel welcome there.
ReplyDeleteI have several AA's to thank for some of my most important recovery insights as an Alanon. Early in my recovery, the most readily available 12 step meetings for me were daily open AA meetings walking distance from my house. I was blown away by the honesty, suffering, hope and wisdom in that room over and over again. It went a long way to help me "see the similarities rather than the differences." I can now honestly say, "I'm Nicole and I have the family disease of alcoholism." I don't happen to have the physical allergy to alcohol that manifests in craving, but I definitely have the same mental obsession and spiritual malady. It is a great grace to be able to learn from people who are so like my qualifiers.
ReplyDeleteThanks for a great share. i go to an AA meeting with Al anon participation every month and the thing I have come to realise is that there is not always a great difference between me and alcoholics in terms of obsessive thinking. anxieties, fears, etc - its just I prefer a cup of tea to alcohol so I don't have the added horror of alcohol addiction
ReplyDeleteI was wondering about going to one of these open meetings. I know some of my Al-Anon friends have gone to them. I might just ask them to go with me so I won't be alone.
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