There's a well-known speaker in AA and Al-Anon, by the name of Father Tom W. He's a Jesuit priest, with an amusing and insightful message - you can find free downloads on the internet at various sites. (If you have trouble finding a free download, you can email me and I'll send you some links.)
I've been listening to a series of his Al-Anon talks titled "Living With Crazy People." It's helped me to reorient myself, and today, I realise that I'm not the only member of this household who is living with a lunatic. My husband is also living with a crazy person. I need to remember that.
When I begin to feel frustrated and annoyed with his "isms," I need to remember that I have "isms" of my own. I have my own insanity. The reason I chose the title of this blog, was because it is only when I view my world through an Al-Anon filter, that I am able to let go of my ego, and be more of the person I want to be.
When my ego is driving, I might get a few minutes wild exciting ride, but the end of that trip is a fast collision with a hard tree. When my Higher Power is driving, it's a slower drive, but I arrive safely.
The problem as I see it, is that any time I try to start a struggle for the steering wheel, my HP just lets go - doesn't even try to keep driving, just moves out of the way immediately, saying, "Right, then - you carry on, and call me if you need me."
Bang! Head-on into the tree of reality I smash. I am a crazy person. I may be a crazy person with some Al-Anon sanity, but at my core, I am barking mad. I forget this at my peril.
Start again. Step One: admit my powerlessness. Step Two: know that my HP can restore me to sanity. Step Three: agree to let my HP drive for a while.
I can be a slow learner, but I do come around eventually, and I'm grateful for that.