Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Don't Blame God....

...for the choices people make.

We all have free will. What some do with that free will, is a result of having been warped and twisted in their formative years - abuse breeds abuse, down through the generations. At one time, I held God responsible for all of the abuse I'd endured. Eventually, I reached an understanding in my recovery, that just as I have a choice as to whether my hand reaches out to stroke, or to strike, so did those who had me in their care.

If I am less than kind to another person, I can see with crystal clarity that this is my fault, my responsibility, my choice. I don't say, "That was my Higher Power's fault just now, when I was snarky to my alcoholic."

When I realised that those in my past acted in free will, I also gained compassion for their struggle. They had their own pain, anger and sorrows driving them.

Just as blame is pointless in my relationships with people, so it is, with my relationship with my Higher Power. Blaming interferes with my learning and progress. It creates a chasm between the blamer and the blamed, and to what end?
None of life can be undone once it has taken place. We can only walk forward in this life. I spent a long time moving forward, with my head twisted back over my shoulder, staring at the past, complaining of my sore neck.

Let go. Let it all go. Fling it away, or just let it drop, it doesn't matter, just break the connection between you and whatever it is that you are clutching. If you can manage to let it go, you will be given instead, the treasure of serenity. But it's an either/or, you can't have both.

I kept my misery because I couldn't believe the replacement wouldn't be far worse. My sponsor had to practically pry my hands open, to encourage me to let go, but once I did that first time, I was amazed and astounded to discover that she'd been telling me the truth - I felt instantly relieved and calmer. That was the beginning of trust for me.

Letting go is a powerful action. When I let go of that which is bothering or distressing me, when I turn it over, I am always rewarded with peace of mind, and peacefulness of spirit.

I accept today, and I accept myself.


  1. Letting go is one of the best tenets of Al-Anon for me. I too held on to things. Now I see what is mine to deal with, my responsibility, and what is for others to figure out for themselves. It is powerful.

  2. It's very hard to let go when it's your daughter the alcoholic that died. I'm trying, I'm trying...

  3. Acceptance where I am at is difficult for me.
    If I can just sit with my feelings which means often in a quiet room things seem to get alot easier.