Thursday, January 27, 2011

In All Things, Balance.

I strive for a balanced life.
I don't isolate, but I also don't spend so much time in the company of other people, that I leave no time for quiet communion with my Higher Power.
I make an effort to be there when my sponsees have need of me, but I teach them that I cannot be manipulated.
I do what I need to do for the business, but not to the exclusion of all else.

I am one person, and I can only do so much before I will begin to feel overwhelmed. This has required some firm boundary-setting and maintenance. I was thinking this morning, as I served breakfast to the dogs, that part of what I must be willing to do, if I'm going to have balance in my life, is accept that other people may dislike my choices, and say so, loudly. I don't have to take that harangue personally. I can detach from it, and either re-state my choice, if that feels necessary, or remain silent. I teach people how to treat me, but that teaching needn't be verbal. I'm learning that in some instances, silence is a reply.

I've made the choice to withdraw from a social group I'd joined last spring - the culture of that group is to pressure and cajole one another into spending as much time as humanly possible involved in various committees, groups, events. I began to feel hounded, and wasn't enjoying myself anymore. I'm grown used to the culture of Al-Anon, where there are no "musts", and nobody in the group is trying to force their will upon me.

I've learned that in order to feel grounded, safe and serene, I need to have a balanced life, with no one thing overshadowing all else. How I achieve that balance, is left completely up to me.

3 comments:

  1. I love this post. Balance has always been difficult for me, but when I am working my Al-anon program it isn't near as difficult. Thanks for this reminder today.

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  2. Oh yeah, silence is a reply. Sometimes it is much nicer than my verbal reply would have been.

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  3. The hardest part for me is to "accept that other people may dislike my choices, and say so, loudly". Sounds like you have a handle on it - I'm still working on it, but with Alanon's help, will get better.

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