Thursday, January 27, 2011

In All Things, Balance.

I strive for a balanced life.
I don't isolate, but I also don't spend so much time in the company of other people, that I leave no time for quiet communion with my Higher Power.
I make an effort to be there when my sponsees have need of me, but I teach them that I cannot be manipulated.
I do what I need to do for the business, but not to the exclusion of all else.

I am one person, and I can only do so much before I will begin to feel overwhelmed. This has required some firm boundary-setting and maintenance. I was thinking this morning, as I served breakfast to the dogs, that part of what I must be willing to do, if I'm going to have balance in my life, is accept that other people may dislike my choices, and say so, loudly. I don't have to take that harangue personally. I can detach from it, and either re-state my choice, if that feels necessary, or remain silent. I teach people how to treat me, but that teaching needn't be verbal. I'm learning that in some instances, silence is a reply.

I've made the choice to withdraw from a social group I'd joined last spring - the culture of that group is to pressure and cajole one another into spending as much time as humanly possible involved in various committees, groups, events. I began to feel hounded, and wasn't enjoying myself anymore. I'm grown used to the culture of Al-Anon, where there are no "musts", and nobody in the group is trying to force their will upon me.

I've learned that in order to feel grounded, safe and serene, I need to have a balanced life, with no one thing overshadowing all else. How I achieve that balance, is left completely up to me.


  1. I love this post. Balance has always been difficult for me, but when I am working my Al-anon program it isn't near as difficult. Thanks for this reminder today.

  2. Oh yeah, silence is a reply. Sometimes it is much nicer than my verbal reply would have been.

  3. The hardest part for me is to "accept that other people may dislike my choices, and say so, loudly". Sounds like you have a handle on it - I'm still working on it, but with Alanon's help, will get better.