Friday, January 13, 2012


Angry responses to posts seemed to be going around yesterday. To what I wrote yesterday, l add three things:

In Al-Anon, we learn to pay attention to our gut feelings and reservations, rather than dismissing and negating them to please another person.

We are under no obligation whatsoever to say yes to everyone who asks us to sponsor them. It's an intimate relationship, and we all have the basic human right to choose our relationships.

Even in sponsorship, we are permitted personal boundaries.


  1. I agree with that. I know that my sponsor told me to not say No to someone asking for help in Al-Anon. But I realize that I have to have those personal boundaries. For some reason, many alcoholics are attracted to what I have to offer and ask me to sponsor them in Al-Anon. I have found that I don't think like alcoholics and it is a particular challenge when I sponsor one. Right now, I have two sponsees and that seems to be enough at the moment.

  2. I am still learning to pay attention to my gut feelings and reservations...and I should say so, we most definitely do have the right to choose our relationships.

  3. I agreed with your post yesterday but these are very good points, too. It's not a "just say yes" program. yes to my own personal freedom and joy, but not to people pleasing and trying to "save" everyone. Thanks for the thoughtful clarification.