Saturday, May 31, 2014

Protestant Work Ethic, or, How To Relax.

My dearly loved brother is an economics professor at a university, and has an enormous workload, even though he's been tenured for years. Much of this workload is self-assigned; he does considerably more preparation for his courses than many other professors, who urge him to use materials from previous years, rather than start anew each year, trying to make his teaching fresh and interesting.

But he and I are much alike in that we both have trouble relaxing and doing nothing - we were raised with "Protestant work ethic" (hard work and effort are praised above almost all else.)

I'm 56, he's 57, yet neither of us is fully comfortable with the idea that we are allowed to have time in which we do nothing.

 Almost as soon as I was released from hospital this time, I was itching to get busy doing something. Accomplishing something. I have great trouble with days at the end of which I cannot say, "Well, at least I got ______ done, today." When I am asked, "What have you been doing lately?" and I can't reel off a list of things completed, I feel uneasy, and vaguely guilty.

My brother and I were laughing in exchanged emails recently: I told him about being two days out of hospital, but managing to get some sewing finished, and he told me about wandering around his place feeling slightly out-of-sorts before finding a fiendishly complicated economics book which he sat down to read. School is finished for the year, and with it, his obligations - and as a result, he doesn't quite know what to do with himself.

We're both nuts.

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

A Thank You

To all of you who've written, thank you from the depths of my heart: it means so much to know that my blog has been of some use.

Today we spent some time in the warm sun, out in our rooftop garden, listening to bird song. I felt the blessing of all the people who have expressed their caring, and for the humour and steadfast love of my wonderful ,beautiful Robert.

I'm feeling stronger each day, and trying just to allow life " to flow day by day with God's ease, balance, and grace." (From Survival to Recovery - Growing up in an Alcoholic Home Pages 269-270)
Bless you all, I'll try to write again soon,

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Back Home After Surgery.

As it turned out, the operation was much more extensive than first planned, because the cancer had grown considerably in the few short months since the first surgery.
The prognosis is not good, and I am being given very little time.
I don't think I'll be writing much on here for the next while, because I'm feeling like I've been hit by a truck. Good luck and God bless you all. I'll try to write soon.