Monday, December 6, 2010

Tears As A Gift.

Music has always had a powerful emotional effect upon me, and bagpipes most of all. This morning in my email inbox, was a link to Amazing Grace played by bagpipes - lovely haunting music which brings me to tears.

As a person who was frozen in my emotions when I came into Al-Anon, with almost nothing left to feel except fear and anger, it was a new and rather alarming experience to find myself moved to tears, by the words of those other brave souls around the table, who shared of themselves so freely. I wept continuously throughout my first few meetings, and those hot tears pouring down my face, with all my efforts to control them completely useless, were, I now believe, a gift from my Higher Power.

Had I not had that experience, which left me rather shaky, but at the same time, understanding that in those rooms was a power I could not articulate, but could feel, I might not have continued to attend meetings. I was very hardened, and closed-off to other people - had I not been ripped open emotionally, so that against all my will, I was exposed in my pain, and in return received such a loving welcome from those women, I don't know where I'd be today.

There's a person in one of my regular meetings, who moves me to tears almost every time they speak - their own emotion is so much on the surface, and their experience of Al-Anon has been so life-changing and so powerful. It humbles me to hear the amazing difference that this wonderful program has made to this person.

It takes me back. I remember when I was that newcomer, whose voice shook, and whose tears were always right at the surface, regardless of how I struggled to subdue them; they would not be subdued. Inside the meeting rooms of Al-Anon, all my usual defenses were ineffective - I could be no-one but my true self. And believe me, I tried. I would promise myself as I drove to a meeting, that this time, I was not going to cry if I shared. And then I'd begin to talk, and my defenses would collapse, and there I'd be, emotionally naked once again. It was agonising, and it was the only way.

2 comments:

  1. This sounds like me exactly in the early years harden beyond repair. When the crying started I thought it would never stop. My heart was that of a little child and I was grieving the loss of a childs dream. I had to shut down my feelings to survive the pain I had buried so many years. The meetings are safe and I never had safe before. Thanks for reminding me how far I have come.

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  2. I have seen grown men break down in meetings as well. I have had tears in my eyes over much that I have heard from others. I have had to stop in a share because of being overcome with emotion. Now, I feel much more even and in balance because I have found some balance. I know what recovery has to offer me. I want that. There is a solution to the pain.

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