Wednesday, October 6, 2010

What Day Is It, Today?

A new day, and to my delight, a sunny day. I revel in how often the sun shines here; after 14 years spent living in rainy, cloudy, gloomy climates, I am a grateful soul each morning that I arise to the light of the sun. Of such small gratitudes, is a life in program made.

I'm writing this with my little dog sleeping on my lap - this is her custom after her breakfast, to come in to where I'm seated at the computer, and do her little cajoling dance, asking to be lifted onto my lap. We then begin a power struggle for my lap, with her slowly, slowy rearranging herself one half-inch at a time, until I realise that she has pushed the keyboard in with her head, to make more room for herself, and I'm having to stretch too far to type. I rearrange her back into a more comfortable position, she makes hard-done-by murmuring noises, and begins again, trying to steal more room.

As so often happens, last night's meeting was on a topic I needed to hear - listening to the sharing of various people as we went around the table, I felt immense gratitude for their willingness to open themselves to the honesty of sharing. I sat in someone's car after the meeting, and we talked for another half-hour - I was grateful to listen, and to know they listened when I spoke - that feeling of connection, and of trust, is precious to me.

Today is a new day, and I treat it as such - I begin again. I try to let the day before pass away in my internal dialogue, as it has passed away in time. I work to allow myself to feel my feelings, and then let them go. I pray for guidance, and for acceptance, so that I may find a balance between looking after myself, and being in the world with other people.

I try to enjoy the pleasures that life offers - they are always there for me, it's just that my vision can be clouded by my struggles. Seems like I hear myself lately, frequently saying to myself, "Let it go. Just let it go."  I hope that means that letting go is becoming second nature to me - I like that idea.

1 comment:

  1. I had to start my day over at 12:30 today with half the day gone. I did kick myself for an hour or so then got off the pity pot and flushed. I have a cardinal at my bird feeder, the sky is Carolina blue, our bills are paid, the dogs are happy and I got my son's college diploma in the mail. (Thank you God) It is all right with the