I spent some time yesterday with a non-program person I hadn't seen in a while, and was surprised to realise just how much time this person spends complaining - about work, mostly, but other things as well - a steady negative stream of judgement and thinly-veiled condemnation. Any efforts I made to turn the course of the conversation into more positive channels only worked momentarily, we were soon back into the well-worn groove of complaint. I found two hours with this person draining and depressing. I said to a friend afterwards, "I'm going to go shoot myself now." They laughed, and suggested I listen to a 12-Step speaker to cheer myself up.
It's one of the main teachings of Al-Anon - stop doing what my first sponsor called "whinging and moaning," do something to change ourselves. Immediately, our situation and conditions will miraculously become easier to bear, because our changed attitude will make it so.
If we continue to work our program, we find that life will become a thing of beauty and satisfaction. That's a promise.
I can only spend so much time with an ultra negative person. I'm careful about the influences on me. It's important to my health.
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It's really hard for me to be around those who whine and complain. I tend to be optimistic and simply think that negativism is catching.
ReplyDeleteI surprise myself sometimes with the depth of my negativity. For whatever reason, positive-thinking requires more work for me. But it has real benefits for my outlook and my relationship wih others. So why don't I choose optimism first? Years of living with an alcoholic perhaps, but more likely chronic discontent, expecting reality to be different than it is. Silly human being...
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