I had my first radiation treatment today. It was all over in a matter of minutes; I was finished before realising that they'd started.
It was painless, but I'm told that with the attending "sunburning" of the skin which will occur, I may suffer further pain on top of what I'm now experiencing.
Last night I spent some time cleaning my glass collection, polishing the beautiful golds and reds and purples. I was overwhelmed with gratitude for my friends, my lover Robert, my sister: who cares for me, and is struggling with her own pain about it all, and my brother, who adores the painting I made for him, which he received yesterday, finally.
I miss my meetings so much, but am too ill to attend them. When someone comments here on my blog, it feels a little bit like a meeting, and I am truly grateful for your input, please know that, and keep talking to me!
I'm hoping that my fight over this cancer will succeed enough for me to go back to a more normal form of life, with meetings, and social encounters, and gardening. I'm feeling like I may be able to beat this one back enough to have some more life granted to me. I'm too young, and unwilling to accept dying yet. I want to live.
Thank you for the topic (gratitude). I, too, am reminded of my Higher Power's love and care during times of great stress by noticing how he is taking care of me and meeting my needs in other areas of my life.
ReplyDeleteSelfishly, I want that for you too! I hope today brings you comfort and love, and that you feel God's Presence. I pray for healing!
ReplyDeleteAndrea
I am praying daily for you.
ReplyDeleteAnd we are praying for that, I find such inspiration in your thoughts and words. Thank you for being you and for sharing your life. It is so helpful to me.
ReplyDeleteSome people are born with the ability to put their feelings into words or on paper and some have to learn that, painfully, after years of stuffing them down. You express yours so very eloquently. Thank you for sharing them.
ReplyDeleteI am so grateful that you have so many wonderful people around you, caring for you....but I love the way you care for them right back, the best way you can right now. I love how Al-Anon makes us resposible for our actions and reactions moment by moment, allowing us to rise to the occasion when we can, but being gentle on ourselves when we don't. Take care and be oh so gentle with yourself♥
Thank you again for sharing your most intimate journey with all of us. Your words touch my heart deeply.
ReplyDeleteOne day at a time, and this too shall pass.
The description of you cleaning your glassware reminded me of Keep it Simple. We are going through some rough times with our daughter and I find cleaning, needlepoint and other simple tasks are helping me stay present to my moments and out of my crazy "What if's". I am always happy to have a meeting here after one of your posts - great idea!!!
ReplyDeleteI too am hoping for the best outcome for you. Just know that I am thinking of you. Your gratitude is inspiring, even in the face of such difficulties.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing. The wisdom you share means so much to me.
ReplyDeleteI am praying for many more joyful years of life for you, my dear.
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