Every now and then, a blogger will receive a comment which almost steams off the page, the anger is so apparent. The writer always seems to be "Anonymous," and the writing vitrolic. Seems like I'll get one of those, and then reading through some more Al-Anon blogs, will see that a few others have received an ugly comment, as though the reader is going along dumping their toxic anger a bit at a time, on people who won't respond.
I try my best to be accepting and compassionate, but I don't believe that this requires accepting rudeness or incivility. Your anger isn't my fault because you disagree with what I wrote. Your anger is your responsibility.
I no longer try to calm down someone raging in anger - I walk away, or I delete their comment. I'm finally gaining a clearer perspective that by doing so, I'm removing their audience. Ranters love an audience, I've noticed.
At the meeting tonight, one of the women I admire for her strength, patience, tolerance and acceptance spoke of a little mantra she uses to remind herself:
I give enough, I do enough, and I am enough.