I was happily reading along in MrSponsorPants post for today and came to something which stopped me in my tracks, and caused me to sigh in recognition. It was this:
"...I knew, in the predatory, shark-like way which all alcoholics have..."
"Shark-like way". Exactly. That's got to be the best description of the part of each alcoholic which functions only for supreme self-interest, that I've ever come across. Those of us who have loved an alcoholic have had many of those experiences - gazing into the eyes of this person you love, and seeing nothing but cold distance - shark eyes.
Some days, when you look into their eyes, you see the person; this is probably what keeps half of us hoping - the fact that the shark isn't there all the time.
In Al-Anon, we learn not to debate with marine life - just get out of the water - you can't win an argument with a shark.
From Courage to Change, page 155:
"When we take Step One, we admit that we are powerless over this disease. We do not have the strength necessary to fight it....Only a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity."
and:
"By turning to my Higher Power for protection, rather than my wits or my will, I avail myself of the best possible defense."
A life-jacket is no defense against a Great White: my wits and my will are no defense against the cold insanity of alcoholism. I'm grateful that I can turn to my Higher Power, for comfort, strength, and humour, to reset my day at any time.
I read this exact post, and I could also relate to interacting with that shark. I love your life jacket to great white analogy. Its very true.
ReplyDeleteI too read Mr. SP's post and felt that moment of recognition in his description. Sure appreciated his honesty.
ReplyDelete"Those of us who have loved an alcoholic have had many of those experiences - gazing into the eyes of this person you love, and seeing nothing but cold distance - shark eyes."
Yes, it's as if a monster with no feeling has taken the place of my husband, and you are right, reasoning and logic can't reach a either a great white...or an addict. Best, as you say, to get out of the water and even off the beach.
There is such comfort in the bond of true understanding, and this is one of the reasons that this post resonated strongly with me. Thank you!
Robin
Sharks are honest predators. They don't pretend to be other than what they are. The alcoholic is not only selfish but dishonest too. I used to not know which person I would be interacting with.
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