Friday, February 5, 2010

It's All Relative, con't.

One aspect of co-dependent personality I've noticed in myself, and in my fellow members of Al-Anon, is skewed perspective. We have a hard time seeing life clearly. (Addicts have this, too.)
Negatives assume monumental proportions, and if we don't stop to "reason things out with someone else," they can take on a life of our own, and pretty soon we're like that guy in the cartoon who sees a giant shadow along the ground and turning in the other direction, runs screaming in terror, with a very small dog lolloping along after him.

The sun being low in the sky is what created such a hugely long shadow from such a small creature, and if he'd stopped to find out what was casting the shadow...

I've done that so many times in my life, it makes me tired just thinking about it. I've created hours, days, weeks of misery for myself, (and for those around me, be honest here.) And all because I saw that shadow, and rather than muster the courage to investigate, just fled shrieking.

If the sun is in the correct place in the sky, even a ten pound dog can throw an impressive shadow. Relatively speaking, of course.

When I was new to program, I had no idea that my perspective was so skewed, I just assumed that, as in so many areas of my life, my way was the right way. Period. End of discussion. It was a long hard haul uphill to get to a place where, gripping my sponsor's hand in fear and trembling, I could un-scrinch my eyes enough to realise that there was an entire world of vantage points from which to view my life, and that I had the ability to choose whichever one I wished, upon which I could stand and admire the view. I didn't have to stay on it, either; I could climb down from one, and up another, to see how I liked the view from the new one.

This is one of the mysterious wonders of Al-Anon for me: a changed perspective.


  1. This is something I've been thinking a lot about lately. Thanks for your 'perspective', so to speak.

  2. The power of a changed perspective is a powerful tool. Humbling too :-D


  3. I'm glad to not have so much fear today. Trust is a much better thing.