I went for my 5th chemo treatment yesterday. I had just made myself comfortable in the chair, when a woman about my age, and her friend, were led to the chairs directly across the aisle. They were discussing IV's, and how the friend could not for the life of her watch the IV being inserted. Because they seemed open and friendly, I commented that I was the same, I can't watch, or I begin to feel a strange wooziness.
We began to joke back and forth, and soon were laughing hilariously over each other's dog, family member, and doctor, stories. It was wonderful, the time flew by, while we kept ourselves vastly entertained for almost three hours, until Robert arrived to get me, and they too were finished, and going home.
I was thinking about it later, and realised that this time, chemo was fun, because these two women were funny, friendly, open, thoughtful, kind, all sorts of good things, and willing to share of themselves with me. It would have been very easy to have just been a group of two, I see that often in the chemo room - people may say hello and smile politely, but they don't want to talk, and I respect that. So I read, or lay back in the chair and think of all of the things for which I am grateful, including chemo, or maybe even doze a bit.
Robert sat with me through the entire first chemo, but I've convinced him that I don't need him to do that, and he can easily drop me off, then come for the last 15-20 minutes until I'm unhooked and can leave. He feels guilty, as if he's abandoning me. I know I have his support, I don't need him to be stuck in there for 3 hours with me, I feel better if he goes off and does whatever he needs to do in the intervening time. I take books to read, and I have always been able to entertain myself when I'm alone, so if the people in the chairs around me don't want to talk, I read, or people watch. He felt better this time, to meet these women and hear that we had been laughing for almost 3 hours together.
It was fun to enjoy chemo. I'm so grateful for all the gifts in my life.
It's a good reminder that humour can help a lot - it can put things in perspective and I find it is best when shared. Maybe I am Letting Go - and Letting God. Even looking at funny clips on You Tube can help.
ReplyDeleteIt is such a valuable skill to make the best of a bad situation. I think Al-Anon really teaches us that just because we are having a bad day or hour, that doesn't mean our whole life has to be miserable. It really has taught me to live in the present, open up with strangers in similar circumstances, and recognize simple gifts. I'm glad laughter and sharing with others helped your chemo go better that day. And I'm glad Robert is so supportive, yet you are both able to take responsibility for your own happiness in the midst of challenges. You inspire me and encourage me. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteHumor has a way to cure so much. Glad that the women were open and friendly. I people watch in Doctor's offices and see people who are closed off. I wonder about that.
ReplyDelete"It was fun to enjoy chemo. I'm so grateful for all the gifts in my life."
ReplyDeleteAnd there, in two sentences, is one of the most profound examples of recovery I've heard in a long time.
You rock, dude.
Laughing has helped me get through so much....being present to witness what is going on around me, and to realize there are a myriad of feelings in situations is my Alanon recovery working. Thanks for sharing your recovery.
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