A reader wrote to me noting that "depression" does not appear on the topic list to the right side of my blog, and wondering if I could please address this topic?
I don't write about depression because it stopped being a state of mind for me many years before I ever started writing this blog in 2009. I don't believe that it's possible for me to feel depression and gratitude simultaneously, and I've had heartfelt gratitude for so long now, that I have a hard time recalling just what it was like to be depressed and angry.
Even this bout with cancer, and the possible cutting short of my life span has brought me to tears of gratitude; I have so much about which to feel grateful. I have my beloved Robert, my brother, and sister, my good program friends, the health care system which is doing its best to keep me well. I may wake up feeling some fatigue with chemotherapy, but I wake up feeling, and that's a gift.
I believe that our attitude is our choice - I choose whether or not to look for that which enriches and fulfills me, and to let go of what doesn't work well.
Rather than write about depression, which I can't imagine helping anyone, I prefer to write about the positives in my life, and share with you all, joy, freedom and serenity.
I have seen the effects of deep biological depression which my mother had. It is not a choice but something wrong with brain chemistry. And I don't think many people can understand it unless they have experienced it. I too have a lot of gratitude. And I stay close to that feeling, hoping that the black dog of depression doesn't find me. I like the positives in life. Some days are harder than others to see a lot of good, but running through the gratitudes in my head helps.
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