"You haven't mentioned dying, are you in denial?"
This was said by a woman who I'd thought was intelligent and sensitive, but when she came out with that comment, I was momentarily speechless.
"If you want to stay healthy, don't repress your feelings, that leads to illness which degenerates to cancer."
Oh, I see, the cancer is my own fault, and preventable, if only I hadn't repressed my feelings. Gee, wish I'd known that earlier.
"My sister's cousin's mother's uncle's girlfriend had that, and it was no big deal."
Well, I guess I should be able to breeze through it too, then.
I saw my doctor yesterday, and was telling him some of the astounding comments I've received, and that I planned to write a book with the same title as this blog post, and he assured me that he'd purchase a copy.
In truth, most of my friends have rallied around with great support, and my partner is a gift from my Higher Power with his steadfast love, and ability to make me laugh so hard I can't see straight. I'm still waiting for the last test needed to stage the tumour, and then for a visit with the surgeon to find out what sort of horrors will be visited upon me by the medical profession.
My mental state is good, when I'm not hearing versions of the above nonsense. Please, don't say things like this to a friend with cancer, it doesn't help even remotely, and saying, "You're handling it so well!" is akin to saying, "Whatever you do, don't break down in front of me." Sometimes, all we want is to be able to say exactly how we feel, without feeling judged.