Sunday, November 28, 2010

A Question.

A reader asked for my interpretation of this quote:

"The difference between my will and God's will is that my will starts out easy and gets hard, and God's will starts out hard and gets easy."

It's always easier to do what I want to do, but the consequences are often not pleasant - in contrast, it may feel incredibly difficult to accept my Higher Power's will for me, but when I do, the consequences will be positive, in ways I cannot imagine.

A good example of this, is making amends to my alcoholic - I have a hard time with this on occasion, because I'm offering my throat to the wolf - who, also on occasion, cannot resist taking a bite. When the wolf's canines are menacing one's carotid arteries, it's easy to lose sight of the end result (becoming a better person) of the action (making amends) and instead, give oneself over to fear (he's going to bite down!) and anger (what kind of fool am I, walking up to the wolf, and offering my throat, what am I, crazy?) It's not easy, keeping in mind that that I'm doing this because experience has taught me that not only is it the "right thing" to make amends, but that I grow and learn when I do this.

My  wolf   alcoholic is in early recovery, and old habits die hard. Some days, the urge to be right, to take advantage, to play those alcoholic head games, appears to triumph; those days, my making an amend to this person appears to trigger a meanness that the alcoholic chooses not to resist.

If I were follow my will, knowing that this resultant unpleasantness is a possibility, probably would stop me from making those amends which are so important for me to make, because they teach me humility and honesty and willingness. It would be a lot easier at that particular moment in time, but I'd be marching in place, and that gets very hard after a while. Watching others moving forward, while I put ever more effort into not moving?  That's hard.

When I follow God's will, and use the realisations he gives me, it can feel like pushing a tractor-trailer uphill on a hand cart - the very definition of impossible - but once I do get that sucker up the hill, it's a free coasting ride down the other side. (Until I reach the next hill, of course, then it's work, work, work, again.)


  1. Love this!!! So true...following our HP's will, allowing Him to be in charge is so hard in the beginning, but it does lead to such real and authentic relations, not hindered by our own self will and our expectations that it always proves worth it in the end! If I could only remember that as each challenge comes my way. :o)

  2. Dealing with alcoholic behavior is no picnic, but neither was my behavior. I am glad to be able to be kind and also to not hold grudges. It has really improved my life.