Tuesday, July 6, 2010


It dawned upon me today that I've always thought of impatience as being a "minor" character defect, worthy of change, absolutely, but one that could go in the "less vitally important" column on my seemingly ever-expanding list.

Right upon the heels of that realisation was another - impatience is demanding - of my partner, my Higher Power, myself.  When I'm impatient, I'm demanding difference. As in change. As in control. I was rather surprised to realise this, because as mentioned above, I've though of impatience as being a minor blip in my journey to better personhood.

It's sobering to discover just how insidious my need/want/desire/demand/  for control really is. (Reminds me of bindweed in the garden - tendrils which appear delicate yet have the tensile strength of hardened steel, and roots which insinuate themselves into the most inacessible places.)

This is why I need my Higher Power's help in removing my character defects - I'm not even aware of them all, and when I am aware, I'm still able to minimise their affect upon my life.


  1. ah, step 7. The step on many people's minds as of late.

    Awareness is good.

    God is great.

  2. Yes, I understand the need to control. And it is derived from wanting to pull people towards me. Instead I push them away.