Thursday, March 26, 2009

Letting Go of The Outcome

A family member has to go to civil court tomorrow, to present a case against a deadbeat customer.  I have long since turned over the outcome of this to God - back when they first filed the papers, I think I let go of the outcome. They are worrying, trying to prepare for all eventualities, and trying to consider every possible question the judge might ask.

I am so grateful for Al-Anon, I could never have sailed through this sort of situation with such ease and serenity, were I left to my own devices, with no program tools. On the contrary, I'd have driven us both insane worrying. I probably wouldn't have been able to sleep, and I'd have resented anyone who could. I'd have been on that gerbil wheel day and night.

This court case has allowed me to see just how far I've come in the program, and in my recovery, because I'm so calm and relaxed about it. I have no control over the judge, and stressing myself halfway to insanity ahead of time, isn't going to change that.

The outcome is up to God. I trust His decision. What a wonderful feeling. I can go on with my daily life, and have faith that it will work out as it is intended to. No help from me required. I can go work in my garden, or on the stained glass on my workbench, and let the rest go.

I realised this morning, I have achieved a level of freedom in Al-Anon, I wouldn't have thought possible for someone with my personality, and behavior patterns.

Keep coming back, it works! (If you work it.)

1 comment:

  1. A great statement about the program and how it can help change lives. Thanks for sharing this. I like what you wrote about the gerbil wheel. That used to be me.