tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3969377097750640088.post3853717482360012149..comments2023-08-05T09:48:26.267-07:00Comments on Through An Al-Anon Filter: I Only ____ Because You _____.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3969377097750640088.post-62893751529218055732010-12-04T07:26:39.701-08:002010-12-04T07:26:39.701-08:00My mother in law has alzheimers and is progressing...My mother in law has alzheimers and is progressing quickly. My husband has been traveling to help take care of her. He still gets in arguments with her, then her mood changes in flash and my husband is left angry, confused and stressed. It took me right back to my life with my ex before Al-anon. Detaching is a learned process. I felt guilty for detaching but also felt a silent thrilling peace that I had done what is right for me. It take practice...baby steps. <br /><br />♥namaste♥Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16128247878961221421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3969377097750640088.post-69372098603445357902010-12-03T13:44:05.641-08:002010-12-03T13:44:05.641-08:00I have experienced the same and know that I cannot...I have experienced the same and know that I cannot beat the alcoholic at this. They are masters of control. And will do anything to avoid facing the real issue within themselves.Sydhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05642843245634635843noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3969377097750640088.post-55425797532166892972010-12-02T20:33:43.484-08:002010-12-02T20:33:43.484-08:00Before the program I accepted the blame for everyt...Before the program I accepted the blame for everything. I didn't have the skills or the self esteem to face the many ways I was being manipulated and even humiliated. I thought it was all my fault it had to be because I was in charge and in control of everything, I thought. Cunning, baffling and powerful. I thought I was the master manipulator but I met my match in the world of addiction.Grace-WorkinProgresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16386539822343069884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3969377097750640088.post-31733173909727908172010-12-02T09:29:27.166-08:002010-12-02T09:29:27.166-08:00My gawd, that's exactly what happened between ...My gawd, that's exactly what happened between me & my last partner (a practicing sex addict). As I twisted myself into more & more of a pretzel, doing things I didn't want to do in ways I didn't want to do them, in an effort to make him "happy," I lost myself and became more & more miserable. And helped his disease progress via my cooperation with its relentless, ever-changing, perfectionist, double-bind demands.<br /><br />And it's not like I didn't have multiple years of Al-Anon/CoDA under my belt when I did it, either... in fact I was still regularly attending meetings while this was happening.<br /><br />It's tricky, insidious stuff, this shame core & amorphous ego (not knowing how to parse what's mine & what's someone else's).Jayne Doughhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08905811493542579887noreply@blogger.com