tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3969377097750640088.post11974602601233493..comments2023-08-05T09:48:26.267-07:00Comments on Through An Al-Anon Filter: Constitutionally Incapable of Being Honest With Themselves.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3969377097750640088.post-91184314999174791112012-11-13T14:53:55.195-08:002012-11-13T14:53:55.195-08:00I've been reading your blog for about a year n...I've been reading your blog for about a year now, I usually don't comment but I often really relate to what you write. This post really touched a chord in me, my partner is a sober alcoholic in AA, and I can really relate to both being blamed by them and their inability to see their part. I've been trying in my program (I'm a long time Al-Anon member)to get clear on the line between me naming the behaviour and taking my partner's inventory. Your post has helped me a step further in this, thanks so much for your generous sharing.Fihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14712720215505176008noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3969377097750640088.post-40419543666685061152012-11-12T10:46:22.255-08:002012-11-12T10:46:22.255-08:00Bless you for this wonderful and insightful post. ...Bless you for this wonderful and insightful post. It is calming and helpful to me, as I struggle to right my own wrongs as the co-dependent partner of an alcoholic who has no problem, and as you say, I am the cause of all our ills. Thank again.Wife Goes Onhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07410026629281514658noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3969377097750640088.post-28003944088645051242012-11-10T16:18:04.299-08:002012-11-10T16:18:04.299-08:00This is my mother and father. Sober, but not healt...This is my mother and father. Sober, but not healthy. I had to live with them for 7 months this year and found forgiveness for my early-twenty something self who rushed into marriage with a man she didn't love just to get the f--- out. It was funny because everyone said that this might be an opportunity to heal the wounds in my relationship with my mother. Instead, it has opened my eyes to my childhood conditioning and helped me along my path towards self-forgiveness.<br /><br />It has served as a lesson in my own role as victim/perpetrator/rescuer. Living with them was a constant struggle not to be sucked into their manipulations and drama, but I just barely managed it (with the tremendous emotional support of my SO). However, I learned to separate real problems from created ones and I learned to hold off on disaster mode until my parents really acted on their threats. These were things I could do in my relationships with everyone else in my life, but it was the first time for my relationship with them.<br /><br />Seeing that I was a cog in the self-perpetuating drama machine has been heart-breaking and liberating. I've felt like two people living in the same body. My sober self screaming, "Don't play the part," and my child self crying, "Please, I'll do anything for you to love me." <br /><br />These past seven months have illustrated just how far I've grown and how far I still have to go. Thank you for sharing your journey so that I am reminded that I'm not alone in this struggle.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3969377097750640088.post-22500335903943244582012-11-10T12:56:47.464-08:002012-11-10T12:56:47.464-08:00It took me a while to see that I wasn't always...It took me a while to see that I wasn't always at fault. I could take my own inventory and not look to blame others. The emotional abuse and fear of alcoholics is terrible.Sydhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05642843245634635843noreply@blogger.com